back home, back alone

After a hectic long weekend I finally return to the coziness of my home–Abdullah sleeps and Siraj is off in one of his law school classes.

And my mind is in a state of high emergency!

Throughout the weekend I was having a mental hang-up of sorts, finding nothing much to write about except an inane comment about lactating dolphins (which I will preserve below for posterity). Even my last post on mama’s milk was written long before but finally edited and posted.

And now, now that I finally return home and am fully 100% alone for the first time in days, I am strangely overcome by the cacophony of voices, thoughts, and ideas that now rush to my mind’s forefront.

It’s an introvert thing, methinks. An interesting definition of introversion that I came across one time and has resonated with me is as follows: Introverts draw energy from being alone, while extended time around too many people drains them. Conversely, extroverts are those who thrive in large groups and become energized from a great deal of socialization with others.

I loved this description from regarding introverts as it seems to fit me perfectly:

…and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.

Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to “recharge.”

When introverts want to be alone, it is not, by itself, a sign of depression.It means that they either need to regain their energy from being around people or that they simply want the time to be with their own thoughts. Being with people, even people they like and are comfortable with, can prevent them from their desire to be quietly introspective.

Kind of explains my mental block over the weekend, and why my mind is buzzing so much right now.

(Not that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy myself, which I did, but that I can see how a great deal of “people time” affects me.)

I remember in elementary school that my teachers would tell my parents that one “problem” they had with me was that I was too quiet, too “shy”. Introverts often times are mistaken for being shy and quiet when in reality it’s just that quiet mental space that we crave. As a society we often times think more appreciably of louder more vocal people as being more intelligent, and the more social as being more graceful and capable.

Although, when you sit with someone introverted one on one you will realize that we can be rather loudmouthed and talkative like everyone else!

Which is all to say that maybe now that I am back to my almost-solitary day-to-day routine, I will have some inspiration to put pen to paper, finger to key, and start writing again

…that is, if king Abdullah the tyrant toddler child will let me…and since he’s up and clawing at my feet right now, I will be off!


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