I’ve been MIA from this place for so long. I now am no longer only “Abdullah’s mama” any more, I am the proud and grateful mama to Zaynab as well. The kids are now close to 3 and 1 year old, and our lives are still on the move as Siraj finds his niche as a new J.D., and I attempt to stay focused on my studies online with the AlHuda Institute.
My latest mama-project is providing brain-food for Abdullah by way of focusing on Qur’an memorization (and understanding!), learning Allah’s names, reading and loving learning. He’d love to go to school, but we have yet to settle down somewhere and we’re still trying to figure out how that will fit in with his Qur’an memorization.
Since Zaynab’s birth I have been battling an array of bizarre neurological symptoms which, after about 7 months of baffling everyone was finally diagnosed as Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (RRMS for short). This new beast is sort of like my third child (the black sheep of the family as it were)–always there, reminding me of its presence at the most inopportune times. Minus the love and cuddles of course (insert wan smile here). Fortunately I am doing rather well with it right now and have suffered only negligible residual damage from the attacks over the last few months. Al-Hamdulillah. I mention it because it’s become a massive part of my life, shaping my identity itself. How ironic too that my MS places me further down on the “road less traveled”, away from those fortunate enough to consider themselves “normal.” And yet… it seems that every where we turn, chronic disease afflicts so many that illness has become the new healthy, abnormal the new normal.
I don’t make any point of hiding my MS or pretending it doesn’t exist, and so I know it will come up here and there in these pages (makes a nice thing to vent about, ya know). So rather than blanching with terror if my disease comes up in petty conversation, I rather enjoy making a bit of dark humor out of it. Like if I forget something I’ll joke that perhaps a few neurons just died off or something… When I was first diagnosed I was like, okay now, I gotta go to a support group and learn the secret handshake! As sucky of a disease that MS is, it fortunately doesn’t suck too bad for me (yet!) so I am thankful for that. And I get enjoyment, actually, by keeping up with all the latest MS news and research (I’m a geek through and through, in sickness and in health!).
So–that’s basically in a nutshell, what occupies my time these days–Abdullah, Zaynab, AlHuda classes, MS… in that order I suppose 🙂 Once we settle down I hope to get back to teaching part time from home, which I had been doing until Siraj graduated.
We’ll see how much time these kids give me for my writing, but for now I thought I’d come back to this little nook of mine and spruce it up!